We celebrated Becky’s birthday at the gym, where she had her weekly gymnastic lessons. We set out all the goodies on a table before the guests arrived.

Dan was sitting on a stuffed stool next to a low table designed for kids. Ex hubby number one, Tom, walked in with Shelley. Dan had his head down while Tom gave Dan a good look over. I hugged Tom and told him it was nice seeing him again. He was a screamer and pacer. Tonya has a five-year plan like the Russians; if the crops (marriage) they failed.

Soon James’ ex-hubby number two came with an arm full of presents for his daughter Becky. He liked playing computer games a lot. Five years later, he didn’t know what hit him. One trip to the marriage counselor and Tonya was quickly kicked out of the counselor’s office. And he only talked to James. She must have had said something terrible.

I hugged James and told him it was nice seeing him again. Now the two exes and future number three hubby were all in the same smallish room. Dan was looking out a window while James and Tom checked Dan out.

Tonya rushed past me,” I got a terrible headache, mom.”

“I wonder why?”

Reline, prefers females and still looking for the right partner, maybe an amorphous relationship? I never asked; I just love her like a daughter. We were busy taking pictures sitting on a large stuffed zebra and giraffe, talking and giggling up a storm.

Now it was my turn to get checked out by one mother whose interest perked watching Reline and me. It perked with such intensity that she couldn’t help herself and asked eleven-year-old Shelley if Reline and I were partners.

Shelley’s eyes rounded, shook her head vigorously from side to side, saying, “No, that’s my grandma Ester…she’s old.”

I was close enough to hear the question and answer; my eyes rounded too…old?

Tonya was busy going here and yonder slashing away at unbearable tension, which was giving her a double migraine.

The kids were having fun with supervised activities. I was busy going back and forth, visiting between Tom and James to make myself more comfortable, but that didn’t work. I wanted to sit in the corner and kick myself for coming.

I invited Tom to come outside for a smoke. If I had a flask of rum in my purse, I would have invited James too.

The Birthday party is now over. In the car sitting between Becky and thirty presents, I couldn’t help it and started laughing hysterically.